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Supporting Those Who Stay Behind

Military families are bearing heavy burdens as they repeatedly watch their loved ones go off to fight conflicts halfway around the world. Long rotations in dangerous areas mean that wives, husbands, children and parents must handle the workload at home short one helper as they try to stave off the fears and worries associated with caring about someone in a war zone. Because most people in the country lack an understanding of this situation, these families can feel isolated or unappreciated, and National Guard and Reserve families may not even have the support of a base community. For those who have lost a loved one on the battlefield, the number of people who can empathize is even smaller.

This is one of several articles published in our Veterans Focus. To see all articles from the series, please visit www.afcea.org/signal/veteran.asp.

 

On the Fourth of July, members of the Dunaway family rode on the boat float they decorated to honor and serve Minnesota’s fallen hero families. They won honorable mention for their patriotic efforts. A Gold Star Family Weekend was hosted in August in Minnesota to offer more support to those who lost a loved one in combat.

Service members aren’t the only ones who sacrifice for their country.

Military families are bearing heavy burdens as they repeatedly watch their loved ones go off to fight conflicts halfway around the world. Long rotations in dangerous areas mean that wives, husbands, children and parents must handle the workload at home short one helper as they try to stave off the fears and worries associated with caring about someone in a war zone. Because most people in the country lack an understanding of this situation, these families can feel isolated or unappreciated, and National Guard and Reserve families may not even have the support of a base community. For those who have lost a loved one on the battlefield, the number of people who can empathize is even smaller.

To help ease the challenges military families face and to thank them for all they do, groups around the country are striving to provide some modicum of comfort and caring for military families in many situations.

One of the most well known and highly rated charities helping military families is the Fisher House Foundation. Each year the foundation offers the feelings of home to thousands of members of the military community, including veterans, when someone in their families is in a military hospital.

Fisher House runs a network of 54 homes on the grounds of major military and Veterans Affairs medical centers. Sizes range from 5,000- to 16,500-square-foot homes with up to 21 suites. Each is donated by the foundation, which estimates that every 20-suite home added to the network provides the capacity to support approximately 600 families per year. The homes ensure that families of armed forces are not burdened with unnecessary expenses during a time of crisis because stays in the houses are free. (See “My Life in Fisher House”.)

“It’s important because without a Fisher House, many of these families would have nowhere to go, and many wouldn’t be able to be with their loved one at all,” says Cindy Campbell, the organization’s vice president for community relations and media affairs. “Hotels are expensive; without the free lodging provided by the Fisher House, they would have to pay out of pocket. For so many, that simply is not an option.”

Since its beginning in 1990, Fisher House estimates it has saved families $167 million in lodging and transportation costs by accommodating families for more than 3.6 million days. It has served close to 150,000 families. Some families stay more than a year. In 2010 alone, Fisher House helped approximately 12,000 families who stayed for an average of 15 days; for combat casualties that number jumped to 45 to 60 days. To support those numbers, volunteers logged 75,000 hours.

Campbell would like to express Fisher House’s gratitude to the many members of the AFCEA community who help make this mission possible. “Our biggest supporters are military and defense contractors,” she says. “We cannot build more houses without funds. Those funds come from those who understand the sacrifice of our nation’s military.”

Anyone who could benefit from staying at Fisher House is strongly encouraged to contact the local facility. A complete list is available on the website. “We’re there to help,” Campbell says. That assistance goes beyond food and shelter. The foundation’s Hero Miles Program enables people to donate their frequent flier miles to transport families to the bedsides of their wounded warriors. To date, more than 24,000 tickets have been issued. Fisher House also offers a grant program that supports other military charities and funds scholarships for military children.

Military children and spouses can access more scholarships through ThanksUSA, another organization that supports military families. Since 2006, it has awarded 2,200 need-based scholarships totaling about
$6 million. By the end of this year, it aims to distribute another 500 scholarships valued at $1.5 million.

This charity had a somewhat unusual beginning: two sisters, ages eight and 10, wanted to do more to support the country’s warfighters.  They developed an idea to tie that support to a national treasure hunt game that would also teach U.S. history and values. Though anyone can play the online game for free, participants are encouraged to make a donation to help fund the scholarships. Private donations and events make up the remainder of the funding. Certain educational institutions participate as well, offering reduced tuition rates or scholarships through the program. Kaplan University is offering 50 percent off four years of tuition at their online school to spouses who meet the award criteria.

Hills Bros. Coffee also is providing ThanksUSA scholarships. In each can of grounds, it has placed a coupon with a code. For every 100,000 codes entered online, it will donate 10 scholarships up to 50 total. It also counts “likes” on its Facebook page toward this goal. Michele Stork, executive director of ThanksUSA, says her organization has received five scholarships for this year and expects at least that number for next year. She hopes the public will help them reach the total number available.

Stork explains that these scholarships help the military adapt to changing situations. For Guard and Reserve households, a call to duty interrupts normal paychecks, meaning that sometimes college plans in the family are put on hold. In the families of wounded troops, a spouse might suddenly become the sole breadwinner. “We help the family increase its long-term earning power while reducing the economic strain on the family,” Stork says.

The program also has ripple benefits through the military. According to Stork, most of the recipients desire to give back to the defense community through their education. She shares that an education major went on to teach military children; science and technology majors plan to develop future military capabilities; medical majors intend to assist troops with physical or mental disabilities; and undergraduates have gone on to serve in the military after earning their degrees.

 

Military families at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, receive their new computers courtesy of Operation Homelink. The organization distributes computers to family members of units preparing to ship overseas so they can stay in touch during the deployment.

One scholarship recipient who has particularly impressed Stork is Geri Maples, whose husband suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injury. As she helps her spouse cope with these wounds, she is pursuing a degree in social work. Maples plans to use her education to aid troops, veterans and their families in dealing with the turmoil of these life-changing conditions.

Anyone interested in applying for ThanksUSA scholarships can sign up on the website to be reminded when the program opens for 2012. All applications are accepted online from April 1 to May 15. Stork encourages people to ensure they fill out all the necessary forms and attach other necessary paperwork. She urges people to “apply, apply, apply.” She also wants the military to know that people are grateful. “We appreciate your service and understand the sacrifices that you and your families make every day,” Stork states.

But what if people have a hard time accessing the Internet because they lack a home computer? For many junior enlisted families, this is their reality, and beyond applying for scholarships, it means they miss the best connection to their deployed loved ones. Operation Homelink helps remedy this problem by providing computers to those who need them.

Founder and President Dan Shannon estimates that 10 percent to 15 percent of military families fall into this category. “In many cases, their computers may have broken, and they don’t have the funds to replace them or in several cases, the service member took their only laptop with him, and the wife does not have one,” he says. “To illustrate the need, I can tell you that I have met families who have driven five hours each way to come to one of our events to get a computer.”

Operation Homelink works with the family support headquarters for each military branch to determine which units are preparing to deploy. Then, the organization works with local Family Readiness Groups to work out the details. At least 100 computers at a time are donated to these groups and then distributed to the families who take them home and keep them. The organization does not take requests from individuals for single computers. Eligible recipients include spouses, parents and children of service members in ranks E1 to E5 for active duty or E1 to E7 for Guard and Reserve units. Operation Homelink prefers to give them to units preparing to deploy in two to three months, but sometimes they arrive shortly after deployment. “In the case of Marines, deployment schedule is less important because if they aren’t deployed at the moment, they likely will be within the next few months,” Shannon explains. Family Readiness Groups of deploying units can reach out to Operation Homelink to discuss receiving computers.

A civilian married father of four, Shannon had the inspiration for his charity after watching a video of an Illinois National Guardsman saying goodbye to his family after 9/11. “I will owe a debt I will never repay,” he explains. He heard of an organization in San Diego helping families there obtain computers and thought of the ones his company had sitting in storage. Picturing young spouses in the middle of the night worrying about the safety and security of their deployed troops pushed him to make his idea reality.

On the first delivery eight years ago, Shannon and his son talked to a mom and spouse who could not bring themselves to watch TV because of fear they would hear bad news. “It’s that idea that we’ve carried with us ever since,” he explains. Since that first delivery, they have donated more than 3,700 computers. Operation Homelink delivers them two to four times a year for an average of 500 annually.

Laptops are received from donors and refurbished to hand out or to sell to buy desktop computers. The laptops benefit users who cannot afford Internet connections. Each computer has a webcam so families can video chat, and each is loaded with Microsoft XP software. People who would like to help are encouraged to donate their laptops to the organization. Groups that would like to make a larger donation are welcome to send in higher numbers. All computers must be in good working order with Pentium 3 or better processing.

Two of the company’s major donors are Raytheon Company and Dell Incorporated. Shannon says military contractors are some of his biggest supporters, and he would like nothing better than for them and the government “to put him out of business,” though all his work for the charity is done as a volunteer. He estimates that 20,000 computers would fill all the families’ needs.

For some people, these donations are life changing. Shannon relates the story of a deaf man who said his son was deployed with the Marine Corps and asked how he could obtain a computer. Shannon sent a computer out to him, though in general single-computer requests are not accepted. He had to make arrangements on the telephone with the man’s wife, who was in a wheelchair. Once they had the laptop, she could carry it around with her, and her husband could talk to his son via the webcam. This meant that he could read his son’s lips and have a private conversation with him instead of going through an interpreter. Through his wife he told Shannon, “Thank you for allowing a deaf man’s voice to be heard around the world.”

Experiences like this fuel Shannon’s fire, but he emphasizes that these computers are neither charity nor handouts. “These computers aren’t free,” he says. “They’ve already been earned by the service members when they signed up to serve our country...but as important are those serving on the home front. They’ve already earned this small token of appreciation that we’re providing.”

For families who pay the ultimate price for freedom, another type of support is necessary. Military Families United (MFU) represents Gold and Blue Star families—those who have lost a loved one or have one serving—advocating for them and for veterans in Congress and offering them help. One of the organization’s main programs is to put on luncheons throughout the country where Gold Star families can meet each other. Through the lunches, attendees form bonds and relationships that last long after the meal. Families who want to speak at the events have a chance to share their loved ones’ stories. Brian Jodice from MFU says, “It’s not just about how they died...it’s about how they lived their lives up to that moment.” It also gives family members help with the healing process, he adds.

In addition, the organization is putting together the only comprehensive online database of those killed in the line of duty dating back to World War II. Named the National Gold Star Family Registry, it will be searchable and scalable. “It’s essentially an online memorial to the fallen,” Jodice explains. But rather than simply a list of names and dates, loved ones, including friends and unit members, will be able to go on the site and leave tributes to the heroes listed.

Though the registry is a large undertaking, Jodice says MFU is passionate about it both to support military families and to help everyone understand who these brave men and women were. He adds that the organization would be willing to talk to technology firms who could offer assistance and ideas. And MFU welcomes anyone who would like to donate, spread the word or join the organization to participate. Membership is open to all patriotic Americans.

To support Blue Star families, the charity runs Camp Desert Kids. This one-day event is held at various military installations across the country to teach kids about deployment and help them feel more comfortable with their parents’ absence. Participants have their passports stamped as they learn about the culture and environment where their parents are serving. “Essentially, it’s Afghanistan for a day,” Jodice says. The kids even can vote for their favorite Afghan food, using the inked finger method of elections in that country.

All these organizations, and others like them, ensure that families separated for the good of others receive a little comfort themselves. And it can make a big difference. Melissa Kempster, a Marine Corps spouse whose husband has been deployed multiple times including the year-plus tour he is on right now, says that when people ask her or her husband how they can show appreciation, they reply, “Tell the families thank you. They sacrifice a lot.”

RESOURCES
Fisher House
www.fisherhouse.org
info@fisherhouse.org
(888) 294-8562

ThanksUSA
www.thanksusa.org
Scholarship questions: (877) 849-878 

Operation Homelink
www.operationhomelink.org

Military Families United
www.militaryfamiliesunited.org
info@militaryfamiliesunited.org
(202) 293-4656